Wall of Weird

We interrupt our regularly-scheduled programming to bring you this update. NotSoSage tagged me to let you in on you six weird things that you don't already know about me. My greatest trouble was how to choose only six items. Apparently, I'm a freak...

1. I AM RIDICULOUSLY AFRAID OF SNAKES.
This may not be all that weird, but I include it here because of the immensity of my aversion. Not only do I not like to be around snakes, but I can't even look at a picture of a snake. Snakes and Ladders? No thank you. Snakes on a Plane? Fuggedaboudit. I don't care how good that movie was supposed to be. The Boy's cousin, Golden Girl, had an animal handler at her 4th birthday party a few weeks ago. I had to sit in a room a few feet from an actual snake. Then he took it out of the box. I think I threw up in my mouth just a little. He asked me if I wanted to put it around my neck. My answer was a bit snappish.

2. I'M PRETTY SURE I'VE SEEN A GHOST.
One summer during university, I had a sleepover with a couple of my classmates at my parents house in Hamilton. My parents were at the cottage and I was afraid to sleep alone. In fact, I spent most of that summer being a cranky half-drugged insomniac. Despite this, I am not imagining what happened. I went to sleep and about an hour later, I woke up in a start because I was certain that a man was standing at the end of my bed looking at me. I sat up and immediately turned on the light to see who was in my room. My friend asked me what was wrong, and I apologized for waking her. She said she had been awake for a few minutes before I turned on the light, because she thought that someone was in the room.

3. I'VE DONE A COMMERCIAL FOR MENOPAUSE RELIEF.
Yes, I am in my early mid-thirties, and I have already been in a commercial for a natural hormonal supplement for menopause relief, Estroven. What's more, I did this commercial when I was in my mid-twenties. Granted, I was the daughter in a mother/daughter combo, I had no lines, and most of our footage was cut because the woman playing my mother was ridiculously bad at taking direction, but still! As if it's not embarassing enough that I am a "non-practising" actor, but I have to explain to former classmates that one of my few professional gigs had to do with hot flashes? My only consolation is that I got paid VERY well for essentially no work. Gotta love them US commercials...!

4. I GO TO SLEEP PREPARING FOR ATTACK.
No matter what happens, no matter where Mr Earth and I lay our heads for the night, I must be on the side of the bed that is farthest from the door. Without exception. My theory is that if some intruder comes into our bedroom, he's going to get Mr Earth before he gets me, and at least I'll have time to wake up and face the intruder before I'm attacked. (I'm a good wife, no...?). The first four months after giving birth, I slept on the opposite side of the bed so that I would be closer to the bassinette. I swear that I did not sleep easily one night in those four months and it had nothing to do with the fact that we had a baby. My body audibly sighed in relief when we switched back to our normal positions. I don't know who I think is going to attack me. Most people either ignore me, or don't know I exist. I'm just plain crazy.

5. I AM A CAT'S WORST NIGHTMARE.
I love cats. Cats suit my disposition perfectly -- I am a bit of a loner who accepts affection only when I'm good and ready for it. I also like playing with furry balls. (But I digress...) However, cats I have loved have all met an untimely end. Shadow had some rare bowel disease and died a few weeks after birth. Blancmange ran away. Smudge visited the farm that she came from while the family was on vacation, and was never heard from again. Peekay and I had irreconcilable differences, and he found that he liked living with my parents better than me. Rocky had an undetected heart condition which caused his untimely death. Willow, our current cat, is safe and healthy only because I can't stand her. She skulks around the house, runs away from anyone other than Mr Earth, constantly leaves us "presents" to show her displeasure, and has not accepted the Boy's presence in the house eventhough he has been living there for over two years. In short, my love kills and my hate is life-giving. Yay! Don't you want to invite me over for tea now??

6. I HAVE WORD VERIFICATION ISSUES.
For some unknown reason, I am unable to type the word verfication correctly when commenting on blogs. I. Can. Not. Do. It. Period. I have spent a disproportionate amount of time resolutely trying to type in the correct letter. Am I slow-witted? Am I finally going blind?? Suffice to say, if I haven't commented on your blog lately, it's probably because I gave up on the word verification in exasperation.


I'd like to share the weird with NoodleMonkey and Metro Mama. Show me what you've got! Please..? I'm feeling very "weird" out here on this ledge all by myself.