Monday, September 04, 2006

Hey You

For most people, the year begins in January. They make their resolutions on New Year's Eve. They vow to be a better worker, better wife, better person. Not me. For me, the year begins the first week of September. There's something about the coolness in the air, the new shoes and the kids going back to school that makes me...jealous almost. Yes, there it is. Out in the open. I'm a nerd. Every year in September, I want to go back to school. Desperately. My heart races. My legs twitch. And I feel the intense need to do...something. Anything.

In July and August, I am content to laze away the days without doing anything truly constructive. I read trashy fantasy novels. I think up far too many reasons to cut my runs short or avoid them altogether. I avoid movies with "meaning" like the plague, and don't even suggest one with sub-titles. It's too hot. I'm too tired. It hurts to think. But come September, I want to conquer the world. September is my wake-up call. I watch the kids going to school and wonder what interesting thing they are going to learn today. How are they going to see the world differently? I sigh longingly, then continue on to my job where I do the pretty much the same thing every day.

This year, I have decided that I am going to take matters into my own hands and do something constructive rather than simply accept. My Dad is a minister and I grew up with a copy of the Serenity Prayer sitting in the window of my parents' guest bathroom for as long as I can remember. I think the words transcend religion and therefore have stuck with me all my life -- "grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference." I am hoping that if it write these "resolutions" down for all to see, I will be less likely to try to back out at a later date. Less likely to give up when things get hard. These are the things I think that I can change (not in any particular order):

  1. I will go back to school and complete the courses necessary to convert my diploma into a full degree.
  2. I will volunteer with a recognized organization, and gain experience working with children in a teaching capacity (one of my passions and a possible future career)
  3. I will continue to look for a career that marries my need for (emotional, artistic, positive) fulfillment with my family's need for financial support.
  4. I will be nicer to The Husband. (Love, if you're reading this - yes, I really am going to work at this!)
  5. I will appreciate every moment with The Boy for what it is - the opportunity to share in and affect the beginning of a beautiful shining life.

So now there's nothing left but to get on with it. If you want to help, then keep reminding me of my goals. Together we stand, Divided we fall.

Happy New Year!

1 comment:

kittenpie said...

Hi there! Thanks for delurking - how fun to meet some new people... And you're another TO mama, I see! come to our next gig, will you? Have you seen the website and link-lode?

And I hear you on the September as a new start. I think we're programmed by living that rythm for the first 18-25 years of our life.