Ironic.

Six months ago today, I had to quit my job because we lost daycare for Little G and couldn't find a suitable replacement.

Today, six months later, while playing in the park with G, I got an email from a nearby daycare. They have spots for both boys, and what would I like to do? They are close to my house. They walk the older kids to C's school. It comes recommended by a friend whose child attends. It is the most affordable daycare in the area (they're privately owned, and can do what they want.)

I don't have a job anymore.

Is this supposed to be some sort of cosmic joke at my expense? Is this a turning point in my life where I am supposed to make the "right" decision, but just can't see it yet? I feel like I'm in a movie and everybody in the audience is saying "Why can't she see what she's supposed to do? It's so obvious?" It's not obvious to me. And my life is not a movie.

If I take the spots, I'll no doubt find a less than inspiring job and wish every moment that I was still at home with them. If I turn them down, I will no doubt be offered my dream job within the month. This is the irony of my life.

Why can't the different paths in life be marked with signposts?? Things would sure be a lot clearer.

Family STAY-cation '09

I. Am. Exhausted.

I need a vacation.

Oh, wait. I just had one.

Mr Earth took some time off from work coinciding with Canada Day, so that we could do things as a family. We didn't have the money or the energy to go somewhere exotic and new, so we decided to check out all that the Big Smoke has to offer. Well, not all. Not half, really. But a couple of things.

Big C was so excited to take Mr Earth to the Science Centre. The boys and I have been there a couple of times, but never with Daddy so it was very! exciting!. Big C took him around in a mad panic trying to show him everything there was to see. Little G and I hung out. It was overwhelming for him and he was racing around screaming at everything, but he really, really liked the ball drop area. They had a lizard and snake exhibition. I saw the biggest snake I ever want to see when I'm only separated by a thin layer of glass. Shudder. I personally will not go back to the Science Centre until school is back in session. It was a madhouse. Mad. House.

You gotta love a boy with balls.

Next we went to the Big Zoo. We brought the stroller, but Little G walked almost the entire 3 hours. He was falling-down tired by the end. I'm not sure what he made of the live! animals! He looked bemused half the time. We checked out the Kids Zoo area for the first time, and it was pretty neat, actually. Big C was disappointed that there were no animals he could pet.

Now doesn't the sight of brothers holding hands just warm the heart?

This photo is for Kgirl. It's the closest we get to matching outfits here at Casa Earth.

Big C and the baby Alpaca. I just love this picture.

Finally, after much deliberation, we decided on the CN Tower for our last excursion. Did I mention that Mr Earth is deathly afraid of heights? Fun times. Little G and I loved the aerial views. Big C was a little more hesitant. (Mr Earth would say SMART.) I'm impressed that Mr Earth and Big C did make a special trip to see the glass floor (from a distance), and even go outside.

Little G and I danced on the glass floor. (See my toes? I really was there! Even if I'm not in any photos.)

What a view.


A great time was had by all. And now I am so tired, I can't speak. I wish Mr Earth could stay home every day. But then we really would have NO MONEY. I like money. So off to work he goes. We will miss him during the day, though.

Two's Company

Big C spent the weekend at his Nana and Papa's house, so Little G had us all to himself. Sometime in the middle of Saturday, Mr Earth turned to me and said, "Why did we ever think that having one baby is so hard? This is so easy! It's like a vacation!!" I just laughed, because it's true.

But here's the thing -- it's not nearly as fun.

It's kind of like having a dinner party... (Now c'mon, you know I can't write a post without a bad analogy right? Do they have rehabs for analogy over-users? Hm.) ...Anyways, it's like having a dinner party. If you like intimate dinners for two people, and that's all you want, that's fine. You have civilized conversations, you give that person your undivided attention, you buy the more expensive cut of meat perhaps. It's all good. But if you like hosting a raucous dinner party for your ten closest friends, having one guest can seem intimate (and is a lovely break now and then), but it's more likely to just seem a little bit lonely. And yes, you can't spend as much time with each guest. Yes, you have to plan the meal based on what you can afford, and what stretches well to feed everyone. Yes, it's more work. But still. The possibilities for fun are multiplied as well.

(Don't ask me how two kids equals ten dinner guests in this analogy. I'm artsy. I don't do math.)

I guess I kind of fall somewhere in between: I like the intimacy of a small party, but it's a lot of pressure. It's all me, all the time. I like to be able to take a back seat now and then, and just listen. To watch the powerful play unfold. And having a second child forced me to relax a bit, to not micro-manage every moment. To realize that as perfect as I may want things to be, sometimes I just have to let it go. And I'm a better parent for it. It's easier, because I'm not unknowingly making things harder.

The best thing of all is that they have a friend who will always be there, who will always be connected to them no matter where they end up in this life. Big C taught Little G how to use a spoon, not me. He's the person that made Little G smile, laugh, crawl and walk sooner than he probably would have. He just wanted to keep up with his big brother. And Little G is teaching Big C more about sharing and being kind to people who need help and patience better than I ever could alone.

It's heart-breakingly lovely to watch. And so very, very worth it.

With Me, It's All 'Er Nothin'

I'm having such a hard time blogging lately. I have ideas, snippets of funny things that make me laugh, but they never develop into full-fledged posts. The problem is, I'm a little bit obsessive. When I do things, I tend to do them 100%. Which can be a good trait. And can also be a very bad one. It means I can be very focused and determined. But it also means other things fall by the wayside. Not only that, I have a terrible habit of being distracted by Pretty! Shiny! New! And then whatever I was spending all my time and energy on gets dropped suddenly for something temporarily more interesting.

For the past few weeks, it has been a return to reading. I've developed a voracious interest in the written word. Not from the computer, of course, that's anathema to me right now. It must be a book. Books with pretty covers, and fragile pages. Books about anything and everything. But no books with movie tie-in covers. (Those are just plain wrong.) When I find a book a really like, I make time in my day to read it. Any spare second I get. And I don't have a lot of spare seconds these days. Watching two kids all day is time-consuming! You have to do stuff! And answer questions! And feed them! It's all too too exhausting.

Anyways... time that could be spent blogging, or reading blogs, is spent reading books. I can't stop. Which is a roundabout way to say sorry that I haven't been around more. I want to be. I do! And now I feel like a terrible person who can't be bothered to respond to an email. (It's so easy! Just type a few words! It doesn't take long! Even if all you say is you're too busy to write right now!....Okay, clearly I have issues on this subject. Moving on.) I find I have, at most, one post a week in me these days, and for the past few weeks, that time has been spent ranting about Storytime at Chapters, dishing the latest on House or casting books in my head. And we're back to books again. I'm nothing if not obsessed.

I did find an awesome t-shirt online though, it read:

CDO

"OCD"

spelt alphabetically -

the way it should be.

Nope. I'm not obsessive. Not me. (I want to buy it.)

The weather has been sucky-ass sucky this week, but it finally cleared up and the boys and I had a playdate today with the Katie and Gigi. Outside! In the sunshine! For the whole morning! After the forced confinement of this winter, I'm not entirely sure it wasn't just a lovely dream. Gigi and Big C got along famously. The shared mini-Ritz crackers and talked about dogs. Gigi apparently gave Big C her phone number, but he can't remember it. Typical male. But he did tell me that if we want to visit her, we have to look for a building with a "J" and and "A" on it. Yeah. Way to be specific, Big C. I'll stick to Mapquest....

Wouldn't you give this boy your phone number?? All you have to do to win his heart is say the words "Oompa Loompa". Apparently, that's the funniest thing, evah.

Aren't you dying to have a playdate with us? We're a barrel of laughs.

Clearly, fresh air is not good for you. It's very tiring.

How are you doing? Tell me something good.

No one talks to the..

Worth a Thousand Words?

The only thing I can think of to do when words escape me...

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

An Affair to Remember

I'm really having a hard time putting it into words, it all comes out a-jumble. A senseless smattering of sounds that is infused with a multitude of emotions, but makes no sense to anyone else but me. I simply can't get enough of him. My eyes light up when I see him. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can't do anything but watch him. His smile makes my heart soar, and I can do nothing but echo his grin, beaming from ear to ear. I want to do everything he does. My legs won't move the way I want them to, and I flail about in despair. I resign myself to sitting, and staring. When he comes near, I reach out with both hands and cup his face indelicately. I want more. A shirt collar or a lock of hair eludes my grasp, as the will-o-the-wisp floats just beyond my reach once again. If only he knew how much I long to be with him, to share every single moment - every smile, every laugh, every joke - perhaps he would be less inclined to leave me behind. Perhaps if he understood how much I admire his love of life, he would sit still long enough for me to catch him. As it is, I will have to satisfy myself with moments. Waiting for the day that my legs will finally obey me and we can run together wherever the wind takes us.

Let it be soon, brother.

Bring Your Good Times..

Happy Canada Day from Casa Earth!

Summer Lovin'

I couldn't wait for Wordless Wednesday, so I'm instituting Mute Mondays For the Impatient. (Oops, I think I just messed up the mute part..)