Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Ironic.

Six months ago today, I had to quit my job because we lost daycare for Little G and couldn't find a suitable replacement.

Today, six months later, while playing in the park with G, I got an email from a nearby daycare. They have spots for both boys, and what would I like to do? They are close to my house. They walk the older kids to C's school. It comes recommended by a friend whose child attends. It is the most affordable daycare in the area (they're privately owned, and can do what they want.)

I don't have a job anymore.

Is this supposed to be some sort of cosmic joke at my expense? Is this a turning point in my life where I am supposed to make the "right" decision, but just can't see it yet? I feel like I'm in a movie and everybody in the audience is saying "Why can't she see what she's supposed to do? It's so obvious?" It's not obvious to me. And my life is not a movie.

If I take the spots, I'll no doubt find a less than inspiring job and wish every moment that I was still at home with them. If I turn them down, I will no doubt be offered my dream job within the month. This is the irony of my life.

Why can't the different paths in life be marked with signposts?? Things would sure be a lot clearer.

11 comments:

kgirl said...

oh boy. can you defer the spots for a month, enjoy the rest of the summer and meanwhile, get your resume out there to see what comes up? What's your dream job, so I'll know it when I see it?

kate said...

Well, harrumph. Isn't that just always the way? But kgirl's suggestion is great. Good luck!

Mamalooper said...

I know it's SUCH a cliche, but imagine 10 years from now looking back - what would you regret more, going back to paid work now or staying home with the boys a little longer? (all things being equal and ignoring any financial or other need to work asap, of course!).

Kyla said...

Oh noooo! I don't know what to tell you. What a conundrum.

b*babbler said...

Ooh geez... that has to be one of the worst dilemmas. Eesh.

Sandra said...

What is your dream job?

Can you hold off for a month like kgirl said?

What is your gut telling you???

Naomi said...

Well that's a rock/hard place situation. As the others have said, you need to determine what it is that works best for you, and if you can defer the decision for a bit, that would help!

Mac and Cheese said...

The reality is that you don't have any sort of job on the horizon, and you don't need the spot. I'd chalk it up to being a bummer and try not to think about it anymore.

painted maypole said...

someone once told me that once I make the decision, I just have to MAKE it be the best decision. so... whatever you do, make it be the best decision.

you'll be fine.

and you can always drop the day care later, right? (if that's the choice you make...)

NotSoSage said...

Oof.

I've got nothing. Except sympathy. I wish there were signposts, too, but I love painted maypole's suggestion: make the decision, and then make it the BEST decision.

What else can you do?

And, um. Hi.

Lisa b said...

good advice here. I do know how you feel about the signposts. I keep feeling like I am supposed to know what to do.