Monday, June 29, 2009

Two's Company

Big C spent the weekend at his Nana and Papa's house, so Little G had us all to himself. Sometime in the middle of Saturday, Mr Earth turned to me and said, "Why did we ever think that having one baby is so hard? This is so easy! It's like a vacation!!" I just laughed, because it's true.

But here's the thing -- it's not nearly as fun.

It's kind of like having a dinner party... (Now c'mon, you know I can't write a post without a bad analogy right? Do they have rehabs for analogy over-users? Hm.) ...Anyways, it's like having a dinner party. If you like intimate dinners for two people, and that's all you want, that's fine. You have civilized conversations, you give that person your undivided attention, you buy the more expensive cut of meat perhaps. It's all good. But if you like hosting a raucous dinner party for your ten closest friends, having one guest can seem intimate (and is a lovely break now and then), but it's more likely to just seem a little bit lonely. And yes, you can't spend as much time with each guest. Yes, you have to plan the meal based on what you can afford, and what stretches well to feed everyone. Yes, it's more work. But still. The possibilities for fun are multiplied as well.

(Don't ask me how two kids equals ten dinner guests in this analogy. I'm artsy. I don't do math.)

I guess I kind of fall somewhere in between: I like the intimacy of a small party, but it's a lot of pressure. It's all me, all the time. I like to be able to take a back seat now and then, and just listen. To watch the powerful play unfold. And having a second child forced me to relax a bit, to not micro-manage every moment. To realize that as perfect as I may want things to be, sometimes I just have to let it go. And I'm a better parent for it. It's easier, because I'm not unknowingly making things harder.

The best thing of all is that they have a friend who will always be there, who will always be connected to them no matter where they end up in this life. Big C taught Little G how to use a spoon, not me. He's the person that made Little G smile, laugh, crawl and walk sooner than he probably would have. He just wanted to keep up with his big brother. And Little G is teaching Big C more about sharing and being kind to people who need help and patience better than I ever could alone.

It's heart-breakingly lovely to watch. And so very, very worth it.

8 comments:

metro mama said...

I think it's a great analogy. I think you're right, and can't wait to add another guest to the table! xoxo

k-girl said...

I like a full, loud, crazy table.

Mac and Cheese said...

We're not there yet. I love it when I've only got one.

painted maypole said...

awww....

Naomi said...

The odd time we've had just our youngest, it's a bit disconcerting. I mean, we had 2 years where the oldest was alone, it's just STRANGE when it's only the youngest!

I do like to find some one on one time with each, though, whenever possible!

Kyla said...

Yup. And I've found that the older my kids get, the more they miss each other when one is out of pocket. Mom and Dad are laaaaame. LOL.

Beck said...

It is SO true - I remember when I had The Baby and both of my older 2 were in school and I was STAGGERED by how easy it was to be home with just one and how hard I'd found that first baby.

kittenpie said...

I'm still kind of waiting for the teaching together part, but am excited for it.