Monday, June 25, 2007

Hover

Despite the wilting Sunday heat, the Boy and I had a great time visiting with two very lovely ladies, Sage and Mme LaBrune. Although the state of washroom facilities in Toronto parks is deplorable. I had actually visited that exact washroom on my early morning run. In the course of less than a day, not only was the the toilet paper all gone (expected), but the toilet seat was removed entirely from the toilet (somewhat of a surprise). I, personally, don't want to touch a public toilet, much less exert effort removing the seat from the bowl. Still, there's nothing much more charming than a couple of two-year-olds shouting "Llama! Llama! Llama!!!" on the way to the zoo. Most of the animals were indoors due to the heat, but Mme L was captivated by the peacocks. The Boy - not so much. They were too loud for his newly tubed ears, and he wanted to see "somefin' else".

Sage and I were talking about her recent and my upcoming trips to New York, and I admitted something that rather surprised me. I am VERY much looking forward to going away, but the closer we get, the more apprehensive I am. I have never been away for the Boy for longer than a day, and although I trust my mother implicitly, the bottom line is: I don't trust anyone to watch the Boy as well as I (or Mr Earth) can. Yes, as much as I've scoffed and scorned at those mothers who are reluctant to let someone else care for their child, I think I am actually one of those moms. I am a bit shocked. I've always thought I was more of a here-take-the-kid-I'm-going-shopping-see-you-later kind of person, and out the door 2 seconds later. Have I been fooling myself?

The essence of the problem lies in the fact that I simply believe we know the Boy better than anyone else. Many times, I know what he's going to do or say, before he says or does it. For instance, 9 times out of 10, he can play on the play structure at the park completely independently. That 10th time though, he'll try to walk off the platform where there are no stairs, or go shooting head first down a slide that's way too big for him. That's why I'm not the mom who sits on the bench and watches him play from afar. I'm right there, climbing the stairs and sliding down slides that are way too small for me. I'm terrified of the 10th time. I'm terrified that other people - people who don't know him as well as I do - will feel confident in his abilities, and inadvertedly let him take that precarious step off the platform.

Although, I also wonder if I'm not somehow limiting him by being such a hovercraft. Maybe there's tons of things he could do, if only I wasn't watching out for every perceivable danger. Maybe what he really needs is time away from me to spread his wings and soar. But I will miss kissing that sweet cheek each morning, and feeling his Buddha belly against mine.

11 comments:

Kyla said...

I think I'm just like you! Truly, you could be describing me. I feel the same way...I've always thought of myself as the here's the kid, I'm going out for a bit type...and I am, as long as I know I'm coming back shortly and Josh is the one doing the watching. But with BlogHer next month, I'm feeling decidely NOT like that person. *lol*

painted maypole said...

what, exactly, does one DO with a public toilet seat? Are they just too poor to buy their own? Or do you think they have a wall of toilet seat trophies somewhere, with a little plaque "stolen from the really gross bathroom at the local bar". Hmmm...

Have a blast in New York. NYC? I love it,and am jealous, jealous, jealous. See some fabulous theatre for me, OK?

NotSoSage said...

I just shuddered at the recollection of that toilet experience. Ugh.

It's true: anyone else is a poor substitute. But, for the sake of your sanity (and a little sleep) it can be worth it to take that plunge now and then.

kgirl said...

I feel exactly the same way you do. I have only left Bee overnight recently, and that was with her dad. I am almost - almost - at the point where I could leave her with a grandmother, but only because she has tons of words and could tell them what she wants/needs, etc.

But I'd take that trip to NYC in a heartbeat!

Christine said...

I would kill to get away from my kids for a while. I actually have been away from them several times, but they were with my husband I've never left them with the in-laws are anyone else overnight. Sometimes i think i could really handle it and others time i freak out and think I couldn't do it.

But int he end no one here in town would take them so we could go away. So in is a moot point for me.

AHve fun on your trip!

Beck said...

Just to make you feel a bit better:
I have never left my children with a babysitter who has not also given birth to me. Unless I was in the hospital, I've never spent the night away from them.
My mother-in-law watched The Boy exactly once for half an hour - we returned to find him playing in the DITCH IN HER FRONT YARD, mere INCHES away from a busy street, with her working several feet away, her back to him. She never got to babysit any of them ever again.

heather said...

We are going to leave our two kids (almost 3 and will have just turned 1) with my parents for three days in August. It will be a nice romantic getaway for us but I still have to put my head between my knees and take deep breaths when I think about it too much.

Mimi said...

Ah! I always mocked my sister for being that mom ... and now I'm that mom. I do seem to manage to leave, though, but then I obsess while I'm away. And, actually, my natural laziness prevents my most egregious overprotection manoeuvres.

I just went away for a whole week! Pynchon was in charge, but it was still hard to go. But it was all fine (of course, and more than fine ...) and I feel a little better.

I'm grossed out about the toilet seat ....

And now that I've read the rest of the comments I feel that I might be actually kinda cavalier, which trails after it not clouds of glory but of self-doubt. So really, I don't think this is winnable question. :-)

kittenpie said...

I am totally grossed out about the toilet seat, and jealous of NYC trip, but I know a bit how you feel. I have only been away for one 24-hour stretch since Pumpkinpie came along, and while I knopw she and Misterpie will be just fine for my upcoming 5-day blowout, I feel a) guilty at leaving him with a tough and long challenge that I would be crabby about myself and b)like I will miss her like crazy.

And while I'm not too worried about pumpkinpie's abilities on the palyground, I tag along with her as her playmate a lot, and because she sometimes will ask me for help, so there I am. Maybe a bit hover-ish, too, btu it's not all that terrible as long as we let them do it for the most part, is it? Really?

ewe are here said...

Eeeew, someone touched and dismantled a public toilet seat? shudder

Go and enjoy NYC. I repeat, go and enjoy NYC. Your wee one will be fine, and you won't have many opportunities again for a while after the new wee one arrives.

Susanne said...

Well, what ewe said. I think hovering is something else. And you have to trust your child and the babysitter.

I have been the "here's the kid. I'll go away, see you"-type all the time, but then it's my mother-in-law who is babysitting and has done so three times a week from when my son was eight weeks old.

When they both went to visit my parents I was as surprised as everybody else that I absolutely had to phone them every single day.