Friday, May 08, 2009

Mother's Day Gift List Dissected

When I married Mr Earth, I married into a family that does not like surprise gifts. There is no searching for the Perfect Present. There is telephoning the person the week before the event and saying, "Whaddya want?", and then you go out and get it. The upshot is, of course, you never get anything you don't want. The downside is, there's little point in wrapping the gift because you already know what it is.

Assuming that my sons will grow up in this glorious tradition, I thought I would make life easier for them by running through the common Mother's Day gifts so that when they're frantically shopping the day before (men!), they would have a handy reference guide.

So, my sons, much like Jor-El did for Kal-El, I impart my parental wisdom in these words:

Card I'm really not a card person at all. Unless you made it with your own two hands (in which case I will treasure it forever), then don't give the card companies your money. It's all a scam to make you feel bad for not buying a card.

Chocolate The people at Godiva will have you believing that no only should you get chocolate, but you should get the best chocolate (i.e. them). With all due respect Godiva, your chocolate is good but also very, very expensive. I prefer Laura Secord french mint or buttercreams.

Flowers I love flowers! Except daisies, chrysanthemums, carnations or any other "filler" flower. Which means you have to pay a lot of money to get the kind of flowers I really like. These days, I think it would be better to spend your money on annuals that can be planted in the garden. The flower that keeps on giving. Still, you can't go much wrong with flowers.

Bath stuff I've always thought that this was a present you get for people you don't know very well. Plus, I don't take baths. And, I like plain old Ivory soap.

Perfume I have a soft spot for perfume, but it's very expensive and I hardly ever wear it. Plus the Body Shop and Crabtree and Evelyn both got rid of their freesia perfume line, so I don't know what I'd choose.

Spa stuff Well, this I love. But, it's really a present that only Daddies can afford, and technically, they're not supposed to be buying presents for me. I'm not their Mommy. (That would be sick.)

Breakfast in bed My gluten intolerance makes this venture kind of pointless, unless you're a Super Cook like Beck. Plus, I like to go for a run first thing in the morning on weekends.

Brunch I always feel obliged to eat too much to "get my money's worth" at brunch. And I dislike crowds. So I end up cranky, with a belly ache.

Handmade craft This is something I would treasure. A+

Prepaid Coffee Card Now, who doesn't like coffee??? A++

Probably the thing I would like best on Mother's Day is to relax, enjoy a cup of coffee and read my book. And the chance to not be the one "in charge" for the day. That, my darling boys, is priceless.


If the stars align, we are going to take ourselves to the pre-Mother's Day Bunch Family Dance Party tomorrow afternoon. I could use a glam rockin' party and some of those grown-up drinks. And a chance to help celebrate the launch of Canada Moms Blog featuring some of my favourite writers...and good friends.

Truly, the best kind of Mother's Day flowers are these, right here.


painted maypole said...

ironic that a day off from mommying is the best present, but it's so true. actually, if we could just have the BEST parts of mommying... the kissing and the cuddling and the lovin' and the fun playing, but none of the endless questions and face wiping and food preparing and responsibility!

motherbumper said...

I am sending this post to SB (I want the coffee card and I'll tack on that I want your choice of chocolates because HELLO! Butter Cream! Mmmmm French Mint! LS does it like no other)

kgirl said...

yes! go tomorrow! I will be there, most likely being pulled in different directions by two small people who will have no sympathy for my solo-parenting, pathetic ass.

Kyla said...

Great list. I love coffee cards, book cards, and music card. I think I'm pretty easy to shop for!

kate said...

Yep, I think that the majority of bath stuff purchases are for gifts that don't end up getting used. I got a huge basket of the stuff when my third son was born (a little over a year ago) and it's been languishing in my closet since then.
Heck, i don't even use the stuff I purchased for myself!

Coffee cards are great. Too bad our local Starbucks just closed...

Woman in a Window said...

Mother's Day here is a pretend day to celebrate me. I do exactly everything I always do but I sure do let my kids think that it is special. They give me homemade things which is the best, and then 2 plants and 2 candles (which I bought for myself on sale.) But even in its silliness, in the end, it is special.

Mad said...

15 minutes of complete silence. That is the height of my aspirations. I did get a cool cookbook and a pedicure, though, so maybe silence was too pricey this year.

Beck said...

My husband, God bless and keep him, makes GLUTEN FREE PANCAKES EVERY SATURDAY MORNING.
Except for this weekend - he's going away for his one weekend away a year.

Nicole said...

I went to buy my mom a Mother's Day card at Chapter's this year since I live about a 30 second walk away from one.
Did you know that Mother's Day cards are now almost TEN dollars??

That's when I remembered that I have a nifty little toddler that more than enjoys colouring.

We went home and made all his Grandmas cards ourselves.
Which ended up on the fridge.

My card wouldn't have ended up on the fridge.. just saying..

kittenpie said...

I have exactly the same thought about bath products, excep0t the time Misterpie brought me Lush bath bombs all the way from New Zealand because an american coworker said his wife loved them so much and they can't get them in the states. He didn't know that we CAN get them here... heh.

But a coffee card? Yes. That's my all-purpose teacher gift, too.

ewe are here said...

They did NOT get rid of their freesia lines... no.... really???

Sob. I hardly ever buy the stuff, obviously, but it was my favorite scent.