Kitchen Porn (Reno Day 1)

Someone, I can't remember who, described posting pictures of your renovation as "kitchen porn". Well, all I can say is, if this is porn then I am doing it wrong.

There is nothing - NOTHING - even remotely arousing about these pictures:

Ah, yes, I like to pretend that I live in a clutter-free world but that is very, very far from the truth. In my defence, there is very little storage in this kitchen. OK, who I am kidding? I am a cluttery, cluttery person. AND, I hate to clean. Good combo.

Do you like my IKEA cabinets circa 1980? You can't see it, but the sink is NOT centred under the window. Was the designer of this fab kitchen trying to hurt me? (Please future designers, think of us OCD people when you're designing!)

Ah yes, the oven and cooktop in the MIDDLE of the kitchen. With no ventilation. And a door that opens like a cabinet. VERY safe with small children about. They can just open it up and sit right in it. But it does have the name Eaton on it, and I like to support Canadian businesses.

My pantry wall. We've had many good years together. Stuffing groceries into one tall, thin cabinet. But don't you think it's artistically decorated? Buddha overlooks the garbage and recycling, keeping it safe and calm. The clock was a recent addition, courtesy of my mother. And true to my artsy nature, there is no food in my kitchen, only one script on a bright, plastic tray.

When we bought the house, we both agreed that the kitchen was livable, but needed to be redone asap. That was seven years ago. Before fixing:

• knob and tube wiring
• tree roots growing in our drains
• the roof
• hardwood floors so old that nails popped out of it
• a porch that was rotting

I can't believe - still don't believe - that this is actually happening. But I have a very empty kitchen to my left that has been torn down to the subfloor. I also have large holes in my walls where, apparently, the people before didn't feel it was necessary to insulate or finish the drywall.

Oh, and somewhere out there, we have a mouse. He left us some gifties. Nice.

Wish me luck.