Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Poo-school


Today was the Boy's first official day of preschool. Or, "poo-school", as the Boy calls it. Nothing I can do to get him to say word properly. Not sure I want to anyways, it's too amusing.

The daycare has been transitioning him from the toddler room for the past couple weeks, and he has been surprisingly resistant. Or, perhaps, not surprisingly. The Boy has never been overly fond of change. But the preschool room is just upstairs from the toddler room. Almost all of the friends that he was used to playing with have gone upstairs already, and downstairs he was surrounded by a gaggle of new faces, cheeks wet with tears from fresh separations. He looked like a giant among beanstalks. A big fish in a pond full of minnows. It was time. But I guess the trip upstairs can seem daunting to a boy who is still little in so many ways. He wanted to stay downstairs where it was safe. As much as I was looking forward to the move, I kind of wish he could stay downstairs too.

This morning I carried his not-so-little body up the two flights of stairs, negotiated two sturdy gates, while simultaneously carrying his little tub of extra clothing and his dinosaur sippy cup. We had to find his new, as yet unmarked, cubby. We had to find his new routine. There is no special place for personal sippy cups upstairs, so I had to shove it in his cubby where it remained unused, unwanted throughout the day. I felt like it was my first day of school, and I didn't know where to go, what to do, how to act. I said goodbye and told him I would be back as soon as work was done, but I left feeling like I'd forgotten something important.

I'd forgotten the wild and rocky path that led to this moment. The sleepless nights, the crying, the earaches. I'd forgotten the sleepy sighs, the belly laughs, the kooky smiles. Instead of seeing someone I knew every inch of, I saw a stranger. A little Boy turned suddenly big. I've been there, but where have I been? Who was this little man calmly taking in his new surroundings? He's my little Boy, finding his way in a big, wide world. May it go slowly, and may I never miss a second of it.

17 comments:

jen said...

wow. i could have written so much of this post. we just did the same thing and ooof. my heart.

lovely post.

Mad Hatter said...

You've said this so well, No-Mo. I was thinking so many of the same thoughts on Labour Day--about how life with child until now has been so much of a fog, moving from one short term crisis to the next and then, blam, suddenly I am on this plateau and I see her whole childhood spread out before me and I am simultaneously relishing and fearing the view.

MaryP said...

I feel the same way about my youngest, now 14. Even though I've been through this twice before, the early teens still take my breath away. The huge sweep of changes, so fast.

Two years ago she was a little girl. Little-girl clothes, little-girl interests.

This year she is a tall and shapely young woman, with young woman clothes, young woman interests (including, but not - thank god - limited to boys) and whose conversation can be startlingly adult.

Your child as a butterfly, who suddenly, dramatically, almost overnight, blossoms.

It can scare the crap out of you. And I love it.

Her Bad Mother said...

Oh, I know. I KNOW. You forget, you do, and then you remember, and you see, and AAHHHH.

Beck said...

It's shocking and breathtaking and heartbreaking and joyous, isn't it?

kittenpie said...

Ah, just a few days and it will be HIS room. Our transition from toddler to middle room was easy, but the next one, to where the real preschoolers were, was tough. It's hard for us when it's even a tiny bit hard for them, but now she has blossomed in there, turning into a real preschooler, with all the abilities and social skills and also the genderfication and not-so-nice skills, all of which she's learning and discovering with the others in there. Peer pressure starts young.

Kyla said...

It just happens. We are here all along, but suddenly the view clears and BAM! You are entering childhood. Wow.

Christine said...

oh wow. beautifully written. i am finding so much familiarity and consensus in these back to school/preschool posts. my boys starts pre school next week.

Mimi said...

I wonder if we're all going through this simultaneously. I know just how you feel.

At Munchkin's daycare yesterday, all the babies were in a snit, just from picking up the back-to-school vibe of, I guess, their parents. Something in the air ...

Gabriella said...

Oh...that's all just oh. So beautifully put.

painted maypole said...

lovely, your big boy

Lisa b said...

Oh it is amazing and heart breaking all at the same time. You want them to stay little but it is so exciting to see them make big strides.
That is so great that at least he can stay at the same school.

NotSoSage said...

Heheh. Love the new banner.

And, oh, I've been feeling that, too.

That photo. He's so big and so little at the same time, isn't he?

I hope it all goes smoothly.

cinnamon gurl said...

Hehe... poo school! I love it... and the poignancy...

Susanne said...

Beautiful post. (And yes, beautiful new banner too. I forgot to mention.)

crazymumma said...

sweet. sad. poignant.
These little beasts and the hold they have on our hearts.

It's vicious this love.

ewe are here said...

Awwww. May they grow up, but slowly so we don't miss anything.

I'm already wondering when we're going to move MF up to the 3-4 year old room. I suspect we'll try to move him up early in the new year when his friends move up, even though he won't be 3 until May... time just seems to be moving along!