Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Seeing Red

Many thanks for your all the lovely compliments on my new hairdo. I was hesitant to post a photo of myself in my last post because I am shockingly unphotogenic, unless I pay lots of money for a professional photographer and make-up artist. Then I look pretty good. No really - you should see my actor headshots. I barely recognize myself.

I feel obliged to mention, however, that I am not actually are redhead, I just play one in real life. That lovely titian hue is thanks to a hairstylist with a bottle who is tipped heavily to tell no one my real hair colour. Actually, I don't think he's seen my real hair colour, come to think of it. I haven't seen it in years myself. But, if we're going by the roots, I would say that my hair is actually Dirty Subway Mouse Brown.

I have spent the majority of my life convinced that I should have been born a redhead, and Somebody just messed up when He gave me brown hair. My maternal grandmother was a trueblue redhead, and as far as I'm concerned, I was slated to have those genes passed down to me. Although, I have just recently learnt that redheads with brown eyes are very uncommon due to some gene mixing thing that was was too scientific for me to understand. Or, I just got bored while reading the explanation.

I have all the many of the qualities of redhead. Distressingly fair skin and a multitude of freckles? Yup. Inability to tan, but will burn with very little sun exposure? Check. Unnatural amounts of bruising at the tiniest amount of pressure? Sigh, yes.

Temperament is almost a non-question. Redheads are known for their fiery temperaments, and, like Anne Shirley, my temper matches my hair. Mr Earth will agree that I get angry, sometimes VERY ANGRY, at things that most people would be able to handle with equanimity. Luckily for him (and me, I guess), the anger is very short-lived. I forgive easily.

Redheads are also supposed to be highly-sexed and addicted to sugar. I am most certainly addicted to one of those things. SUGAR! What were you thinking..?? I can't go a day without consuming some sweet goodness, and most days it is consumed in vast quantities. I would like to say that I am highly-sexed, but the truth is that since having kid(s), I am just too tired to think about sex a whole lot. I'd rather sit on the sofa and eat chocolate. But I suspect that if I could just have a few days of uninterrupted rest and relaxation, my libido would return.

Mark Twain said that "While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats". I definitely have many feline qualities. I am person who cherishes her "alone time", and seeks affection sporadically - at which time, I want to be petted and adored until I fall asleep on your lap. I like to view the world from my safe perch at the top of the stairs, an observer instead of an observed. I like balls of yarn, and will do tricks for treats. Wait, this is getting too weird...

Redheads have been commonly associated with witches and vampires. I do carry the mark of a witch - a mole on my left breast - according to Arthur Miller's The Crucible. One of my favourite TV shows of all time is Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and I am said to resemble Willow (Alyson Hannigan), who plays a witch. Random people approach me and tell me this, actually. Although, they know her as "that band camp girl" from American Pie. My favourite costume for Hallowe'en is just to dress normally (i.e. like a geek), and do American Pie impressions all night. That's the "A" material people.

Still, natural redhead I am not. I just keep on dyeing my hair so that nobody ever knows the truth. Luckily for me, the undeniable proof that I am actually a brunette remains largely unseen by the general public. Since marriage, Mr Earth is the only person that can actually confirm that I am not ginger-by-nature. And he knows better than to let that cat out of the bag. So to speak.

20 comments:

b*babbler said...

The Peanut is a redhead. And she's already showing the temperament to go with it... Ah the years ahead to look forward to.

And giggle about the cat comment. Ahem :)

painted maypole said...

people used to say I look like willow too, and I don't think I do at all. I don't get it as much as you, though. ;)

Bon said...

while my hair been a solid and unwavering shit brown since birth (except for that unfortunate Billy Idol-esque experiment i went through a few years ago) your post has convinced that i am, deep inside, a redhead. or a cat. or a red cat.

:)

Alpha DogMa said...

No wonder I like you - we are both shoulda-coulda-woulda bottled Redheads. Egotism is one of my best traits, btw.

Now I'm gonna go look at my boob and see if there is a mole down there (cos its pretty close to my waist since the days of breastfeeding).

Gabriella said...

redheads rock! I love your hair, you look great in that picture.

Beck said...

I was a faux redhead for MOST OF MY ADULT LIFE! I actually managed to convince myself that the dye jobs were just touch ups to my natural redness.
Uh huh.
I've let my hair go back to it's normal colour of deep, deep brown - with a generous helping, it is true, of auburn - but nothing like red. Which makes my husband happy, since his mother has red hair and he likes me NOT to.

cinnamon gurl said...

Hee hee... I feel the need to lick a paw and look around the room all superior like. I've never heard the Mark Twain quote before and I LOVE it.

My cousin has red hair with brown eyes, AND the lucky b*tch has almost no freckles.

Consider yourself one of the club...

DaniGirl said...

Oh, this post made me laugh - and bob my head in agreement. I too am a redhead trapped in a brunette's body, but have never had the courage to actually change my hair colour.

The cat thing is priceless... I'm definitely ferreting that one away for future use.

kgirl said...

I think you make a damn fine redhead.
chris is strawberry blonde, and his mom and sis are true redheads, so everyone keeps expecting my children to be the recipient of the coveted gene. So far they get my colouring. But his nose, so I can't complain much.

Mad Hatter said...

i could've written this post--except for the sugar and left breast bits. I too am a near-miss redhead, a brunette descended from a line of true redheads. I have all the redhead colouring. I even have reddish highlights to my brown but brown it is, alas.

Damn, Sin's already been here. I wanted to ask her about the sex and sugar thing.

ali said...

i'm a fellow dirty subway mouse brown...but i've gone the blonde route intead of the red...i went red once, right before my senior high school pictures!

kittenpie said...

I am just like that, actually. Not a natural redhead, but have been acting as one for a good decade now, and people are usually surprised that it's not really mine, I just borrow it. My dad's a redhead, and I have the irish fair skin and blue eyes to go with it, so it works, and like you, I always thought it should have been.

Kyla said...

My hair has a good bit of red in it, more when in the sunlight or when I'm knocked up. We have quite a few things in common, including the mark of a witch.

ewe are here said...

Someday I think I'll get some red highlights put in, you know, that day when I need to start covering the stupid gray hairs that keep popping up. Grrrr. But, I've always wanted to try for a bit of red up there...

jen said...

i love that you are convinced you are a redhead. i really love that.

crazymumma said...

meow. you look great as a redhead....

Mimi said...

My mom is a redhead. I'm dirty subway mouse brown, but am expensively blond. Nevertheless, I have two perfectly Willow red streak growing perfectly symmetrically out of the very tops of both of my temples. Weird, eh?

And I'm racking my brains to think of any redheads I know who have brown eyes. I can only think of green ones.

On the celebrity front, a student came to the front of class the other day to tell me that she and her seatmate agree I *sound* just like Drew Barrymore. Urrrr, okay.

KC said...

I think red suits you well - I would never have guessed it wasn't natural. As for me, I'm pretty much SOL if I try to convince others that my hair was supposed to be a different color. Blonde Asians look like FREAKS. (no offense to any blonde Asians reading this- I'm sure it works for you.)

Mary G said...

Gorgeous red headed picture! It does look meant. I married into a family of redheads, and produced one who actually tans a bit. Phew! Her father gets blisters from looking out the window on a sunny day, almost.
Love the pics of the big boy room, too. You did a stellar job.
Mrrow?

Susanne said...

Okay, you have convinced me. I'm a secret redhead too. I dyed my hair red for fifteen years or so and was well pleased when I started growing it out and my natural color turned out to be not dirty-mousy-brown but a deep brown that I actually like. Of course then I found the first gray hairs...

It's really interesting to know that one can be unphotogenic and an actress at the same time. I always thought there was something wrong with me and pictures. But then I have never paid lots of money for a professional photographer and make-up artist.

Oh, and my mother is a true redhead.