Friday, April 18, 2008

The Straight Poop

I didn't realize that when I signed up to be a parent that I would become quite so ..preoccupied.. with bowel movements.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, we are FINALLY starting to get somewhere in the potty training arena. I never thought that starting in September, when the Boy showed no signs of interest whatsoever, and just a couple months away from the birth of the Little Guy, was a very good time to start training. But it's what the daycare wanted (naturally). I shared my concerns and they wanted to go ahead and try anyways. Far be it from me to stop them. Who knows? It could have worked.

HOWEVER, I know the Boy, who is, not surprisingly, quite a lot like me. Apple? Meet tree. When the Boy wants to do something, he does it. And not one millisecond earlier. And if he don't wanna do it, it ain't gonna happen. Period.

Thought he was never going to get teeth? BAM. Four teeth right after his first birthday. Took less than a week, and no teething pain. Nice.

Thought he was never going to walk? BAM. At sixteen months, we left him with my parents for two hours while we went to see a movie, and he went from standing and holding onto furniture, to tottering around the cottage. Weirdo.

Now, I'm not saying that potty training is going quite that well, but it is certainly a far cry from the outright resistance we've had for the last six months. Our biggest issue is, well, poop.

The Boy has a particular habit of ..letting go.. during sleep. It's what wakes him up in the morning. It's what shortens nap time. And, more recently, it's what wakes him up about 15 minutes after he goes to bed. How do you train someone to poop in the toilet, when he only does it while asleep? Once - once! - he had a small poop in the potty and we had a frakin' party. It was raining gifts and praise. I wished I had a pinata. Wahoo!

Never again.

At first, I thought that he needed the relaxation of sleep to let go. Then, I thought that perhaps he needed the comfort of a diaper. We've tried asking him to wear a diaper right before bedtime so that he can poop, but he won't have it.

Tonight, not one minute after I tucked the yawning Boy in bed and closed the door, I heard this terrible panting coming from right behind the door. The Boy often plays in bed for a bit after we put him down, but this was definite panting right behind the door. It only took me a second to realize what was happening. I stood and waited till it stopped, and sure enough, the door opened up and the Boy came out:

"Mummy, I have a poo!"

Is he waiting to poo after bedtime because it buys a few more precious parental minutes? If so, what does that say about our parenting? Am I simply reading to much into this?? Help me, dear Internets! I welcome any and all advice.


Mimi said...

Oh, wow. I'd love to be able to give you some sage advice here, but I'm sorta laughing too hard ...

kittenpie said...

I don't have much to tell you... I do hear that boys take their time with pretty much everything, though, and I also think that pottying is something you DON'T want to make into a struggle, so I would roll with it as you have been, in your position.

daysgoby said...

Okay, need to preface my remarks by saying I am by NO MEANS a genius in the pottying department, but I DO have the scars to prove that I've been on the battlefield.

Do you read to him right before he goes to bed? Try it on the toilet for ten or fifteen minutes.

(yeah, I know it sounds wacko. But it might work! We had some successes with that with my daughter the diva, who would get immersed in a book and forget to clench.)

Also, if he's panting so hard, maybe he's constipated?

Good luck - potty training has to be one of the longest hardest slogs in the history of ever.

womaninawindow said...

Strange days, ah, nights indeed. Often I just get my son tucked in and am turning as he's already getting out of bed before I exit his room. Poop. Of course. But he's old enough to take care of it and tuck himself back in. How 'bout a potty chair beside his bed and an easy on/off light. Might do the trick. Just let him know he HAS TO tell you when the pot's full.

Naomi (Urban Mummy) said...

I have one of those children, too. Actually, I have two of what they want to do, when they are ready.

Absolutely no advice here.

My first son declared one day that he wanted red underwear. We took him, bought it, and a week later he was finished with diapers during the day. Perhaps waiting until he tells you might be easier? At least, it would reduce stress?

I'm waiting to see what happens with my second son. He's more stubborn then the first, so it could go either way!

Good luck!

motherbumper said...

Gawd - please tell me when you figure it out b/c B refuses to do numero duo on the potty. No problem with pee but no go on the poo. Now she doesn't do it in her sleep but she hides behind the door, couch, wherever and does her "panting". We try replicating in bathroom at same timing and nada. Not sure why she is so damn set against doing it on the john. Though I'm convinced she's just f**king with me. Dang, who let me be a parent?

Susanne said...

No advice here, only a lot of sympathy. All the potty training is a bit hazy now but poop was the biggest problem here also.

Maybe it'll help a bit when I'm telling you that though potty training was the thing most on my mind for more than six months (on my son's insistence, not mine) I don't remember much about it nowadays.

bren j. said...

I obviously have absolutely zero advice on this subject but I'm so intrigued to hear how it all turns out. It's early on but the LG's, er, 'schedule' matches the Boy's to a T. Good luck!

carrie said...

That is a new one for me.

But, I wish you luck!

Holly said...

sorry, but we put my son in undies for a week at the cottage when he was just about to turn 2 and we were pretty much good to go (apart from the odd accident and pull-ups at night).

he'll let you know when the time is right. if you become uber frustrated, then do the undie thing, BUT it's your life and your kiddie... do what works for ya.

see. no help.

painted maypole said...

oof. no advice for you. hope it, comes out ok. ;)

Lisa b said...

I've got nothing to offer, other than that old 'you know he'll do it eventually'
yeah. Sorry.

Kyla said...

KayTar is on medication to make her go, so I have no clue about regular BM's...BubTar potty trained too long ago for me to remember those things. I do know that KayTar tends to make her deposits around bedtime, too, but that is because she has her medicated bottles quite close to sleep time.

Can you put a potty in his room for these things? Until he gets used to it?

Mandy said...

We have a three year old who is perfectly pee trained and not in the least poop trained. In fact, it has become a bit of a battle of the wills between him and us. He is stubborn, stubborn, stubborn.

We too are at our wits end and are now just leaving it be for a time. What I have heard, is that adding mineral oil (the tasteless kind) to their diets at 1 tsp per 10 lbs of body weight works well. Add it to their juice, shake it up really well and use it as a natural laxative. Here's the site I'm getting this from:

I am going to start doing this soon. If you want, check in with me in about 2 weeks time to see if it's helped!

Mac and Cheese said...

As you already know, I have nothing to offer but sympathy.

Christine said...

due my 3 year old does the SAME THING!!!! except i'm pretty sure mine waits until bedtime because he wants privacy which he doesn't get all day with all the activity going on.