Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Someone should get that kid under control.

Oh wait. That would be me.

This morning, Little G had not one, but THREE screaming tantrums. One of them in Dufferin Mall. We had been having a good time. We walked around Toys R Us and bought a soccer ball for the park. We were just sitting down to coffee and a snack at Second Cup, and it started. Arms flailing. Legs kicking. Face squashed on the floor, mixing snot and tears with the dirt on the floor. Wailing at the top of his lungs.

He wanted to sit on the grown up chair. I think. I don't know because he can't talk. Anyways, he's too small and too unpredictable to sit on a grown up chair yet. I tried sitting with him on my lap. I tried strapping him into the stroller. I tried putting him down so he could walk around. I tried holding him and shushing him gently in the ear. He screamed no matter what I did. In the end, I tried sitting him in the coveted adult chair by himself, and he vaulted out face first. Still screaming.

People stared. I know what they were thinking. Can't you get your kid under control? Should you be out in public when your child obviously hasn't learnt civility?? Do you know that you are a Bad Mother??? On their faces: utter horror.

Here's the thing, though, I don't know when he's going to blow. He's quite a happy, giggly, charming little man. Except when he's not. I can't stay at home, indoors, all day long because he might have a meltdown at some point. And if I left a store every time he screamed, well, let's just say that very very few errands would be completed. If any.

And he's loud. LOUD. When he's unhappy, he makes sure you know it. There is no minor complaint. Every wail is at the top of his lungs. Loblaws was christened the other day. I'm pretty sure everyone in the produce section knew that he didn't want to sit in the cart. One lady came over and spoke to me in soothing tones after the display was over.

I'm not embarrassed, really. I was with Big C when he had tantrums in public, and he wasn't nearly as loud. Nor did he get his freak on as many times as Little G. I'm just tired. Tired of walking on eggshells, waiting for the explosion. And stressed, because it's hard to listen to the screaming and not be able to help. He doesn't want my help. And sad that many more people than I would like don't get to see sweet little man that I know he is. That I've seen him be, countless times.

He really is a very good little boy. He's just a little loud, that's all.

11 comments:

Mac and Cheese said...

Those people staring at you in the Second Cup don't all think you're a bad mother. Some are probably thinking, 'Phew! Glad its her and not me!'

daysgoby said...

I am gray because of that stage....

kgirl said...

Oh my lord, Dove is the same. We actually had to leave a restaurant last week, for the first time ever, because she wouldn't sit in the highchair, or my lap, or her stroller, and FREAKED when I tried. Bee was NEVER like this.

Kyla said...

There were many months we didn't leave the house due to KayTar's random fits and our inability to reason with her...plus, she liked to scream, "HELP! DON'T TAKE ME! IT'S AN EMERGENCY!" every time she was upset. Ugh...memories!

Hang in there!

ewe are here said...

More frequently than not, I'll push my shopping cart past such 'displays' and say something along the lines of "mine do that, too" to the parent. Because they do. They ALL do it sometimes... we just have to get through it without strangling them. :-)

Woman in a Window said...

I like that you're defending his screaming little butt. Too often I lost site of that when my screamer screamed. They need us. You're doing great.

b*babbler said...

I'd love to say that I don't care what people think at all when Peanut acts out in public - but I do. I think we all do... Or at the very least, it *is* the caring that makes us good parents. Not just because we don't want people to stare, but because we want to raise well-behaved children that will have an easy time in public as they get older.

Trust me, I've seen some kids whose parents haven't cared enough to keep tackling the trips out to the malls and their attendant tantrums. Those kids? They have a REALLY hard time as they get older, still act that way and no longer have the excuse of babyhood. The social stigma is hard to watch for those kids. Each episode really is a learning experience.

Wow - that is a *really* long way of saying you're doing a great job.

Beck said...

I think that people think far less about our children's tantrums than we assume they do. I mean, unless we're staying someplace with a squalling kid, what is there for them to think about, beyond a moment's irritation or compassion?

Badness Jones said...

My boy was the same....and then he learned to talk. It's not that he's perfect now (NOT CLOSE!) but I can breathe again, and I have at least a chance of figuring out the problem and fixing it.

bren j. said...

I always hate imagining what people are thinking when the LG start squawking in public. Hopefully he grows out of this stage soon!

kittenpie said...

The Bun totally has those moments. Moments when at home, I put in earplugs even as I try to figure out how I can help, because it makes me crazy, the Wall Of Sound. Those are the moms I always feel bad for, because I have to ask them to take their kid outside to calm down and then come back, even though I know they are trying and they just wanted to come top the library, dammit, and can't we just do one thing?! Some wine?