Thursday, January 17, 2008

The Kiss of Death

I've been accused in the past of being somewhat negative in my outlook. While it's not entirely untrue, I think this assessment gives you the wrong impression. I prefer the term "cautiously optimistic". But I can see how people could confuse the two.

For example, if you ask how my day is going, I will more than likely say "Not bad." or "Okay." I will never say "Fabulous!" or "This is the best day I've ever had!" (Unless, of course, something undeniably, life-changingly wonderful has actually occurred.) In part, because I find these Pollyanna answers to be somewhat annoying - like the people who smile all the time. I mean, I'm all for smiling when the occasion warrants it, but smiling 24/7? Not so much. It kind of creeps me out. But mostly it's because, in my experience, as soon as I say something is going well, it almost always starts to go downhill. I call it "the Kiss of Death".

Phrases you won't hear me say? "The Little Guy is a really good sleeper." Cause you know he won't be sleeping that night. "The Boy never misbehaves." Not unless I wan't him to throw his toys at me and scream "Mommy is a poo-poo head!" at the top of his lungs. "It's easy to manage two kids." Because total mayhem would ensue.

You also won't see me tattooing "Mr Earth - true love forever" anywhere on my personage. I don't really want to find my sorry husband-less self walking the streets. Or telling people that I'm smart and talented. They won't have to look hard for evidence to the contrary. Or buying clothes that are my pre-pregnancy size on the theory that I will fit into them soon enough. I invariably start eating all the chocolate in sight if I do.

But what do you do when someone asks you a question point-blank? At my post-partum appointment Monday, the doctor asked me if I had had any blocked milk ducts. Well, to be perfectly honest, I hadn't. So I was forced to answer no. And what do I have right now? A blocked milk duct. A painful, red, hard-as-a rock boob, and a baby who somehow manages to always hit or kick me in the chest. Thanks Doctor. Kiss of Death indeed.

24 comments:

Melody said...

Ooooh, that sux! I'm like you - I would have had to say something like "Not yet! Knock on wood..." while rapping on my forehead a couple of times. I hate to jinx things. Budman, my husband, always comments on how great "Traffic is looking tonight" and then of course just around the next corner, you guessed it, and next thing you know, we're getting home at 9:00. Why won't he learn!?!?!?

My apologies for my raving tangent - this is about you. Sorry about the blocked duct - those are the worst.

Don Mills Diva said...

Oohh those hurt. Sorry about that. Have you tried talking incessantly about how awful things are in hopes that fate will make something wonderful happen just to prove you a liar? Worth a shot.

bubandpie said...

Are you taking lecithin supplements? That was seriously the BEST piece of advice I got the second time around - you just take two every morning, and they really help prevent/ease blocked milk ducts. You can get them at any of those nutritional supplement stores. Mine were 1200 mg capsules, and I seem to remember taking two each day - they're safe and they really help!

ewe are here said...

You can never trust people who smile smile smile all the time. Just can't do it. Very creepy, indeed.

Mad Hatter said...

Well, we've seen the jinx get Kyla now 100 times over. No wonder we respect the jinx.

Sorry about blocked milk duct. I hope the Little Guy eases that problem quickly.

cinnamon said...

Oh that sucks! I'm constantly knocking on wood and doing superstitious things. I've become downright nutty about his bedtime, even thinking that if I just get the right pj's, he'll sleep.

Beck said...

You need to get into the shower and get a hot washcloth against those poor ducts. Ouch.
I'd cheerfully tattoo my husband's name on me - it's a common name and thus wouldn't actually limit my future luv life that much.

kgirl said...

i feel your pain... oh, how i feel your pain. (and i am soooo superstitious about inviting bad luck. i thought it was the Yid in me, but maybe it's a capricorn thing.)

metro mama said...

Oh no! Hope you're better soon.

DaniGirl said...

Ouch!! I'm cringing in sympathy.

I'm an infernal optimist, and still can't resist touching wood or some other reflexive superstitious compensation when stating how fine life happens to be. You just don't call down the gods like that, or risk the consequences. Maybe next time, you can answer a question like that with the oldy but goody "So far so good"?

MaryP said...

I'm an optimist. Can't help it (not that I particularly want to) it's just the way I'm wired.

But I, too, don't like people who smile all the time. We have a neighbour like that, and it's just weird. I don't like talking to him - the insincerity of the smile/grimace just creeps me right out.

bren j. said...

Gahhhhhhhhhhh! The agony!! Oh I hope it goes away soon!!!

I know what you mean about smiley people. Grr....you just want to break their picture-perfect teeth sometimes, you know?

wheelsonthebus said...

Those are the worst.

painted maypole said...

oh ouch. i had that. no fun. with a fever to boot.

hope you heal quickly.

and so, for this, would you be a "boob half empty" or "boob half full" individual ;)

kittenpie said...

Ouch. That is a unique pain, that is.
And just for my two cents - when I had those, they had me alternating hot and cold compresses, and as B&P suggested, after I started taking lecithin, I never had another. It seemed to help thin the milk or keep it flowing or something.

Feel better soon!

the dragonfly said...

Oh, I had those. Blech! Hope all is well soon...

Mac and Cheese said...

Ugh. I hope it unplugs soon.

Kyla said...

Oh those damn jinxes. I think everyone know how I feel about them.

Feel better.

motherbumper said...

ow ow ow ow ow DAMN THAT DOCTOR!

I hope it heals quickly.

Mimi said...

Not the jinx!!! Noooooooo!!!

Dude, I hope your boob feels better soon. Seriously. Ouch.

bren j. said...

Oh...I just wanted you to know....call it sympathy pains...but guess what I have RIGHT NOW?!? ARGH!

Naomi (Urban Mummy) said...

Ouch! When I had a blocked duct with my first son, I was at the lactation consultant. Of course, what did she do?

PUSHED. HARD.

OUCH!

So I feel for you!

crazymumma said...

oh baby. hot diaper on it.

something blue said...

Yah those people that smile all the time... sorry about that. Actually the more upset or angry that I am; the more I smile. It's how I cope.