Monday, October 06, 2008

My in-laws are great, BUT..

...they're not always the most sensible people out there, ya know?

So they come over to our house for a visit on Saturday (and thank god they did because I swear it's the only way that my house gets cleaned), and they brought presents for the boys:

Cookies.

What's wrong with cookies, you ask? Well, these aren't just any cookies. These are Cookies, with a capital "C". Gourmet gingerbread cookies smothered in hard candy icing. Yummy! BUT. They're GINORMOUS. They are the size of a small child's head. No word of a lie. My mother-in-law (Mr Earth's stepmother) took the cookie meant for the Little Guy out of the bag and waved it in the baby's face saying "Look what I got for you!", and he backed away screaming and crying from the sheer size of it.

In fact, just so you don't think I'm exaggerating (because I do tend towards exaggeration on occasion, ahem), I photographed the Cookies in question with a tape measure for reference:




Then I photographed the boys with the same tape measure (please excuse the blurry photos - I get all shaky when I'm so close to baked goods that I'm not allowed to eat..):







They were trying to do something nice - which I appreciate, I do! - but no good can come from this situation. The Boy is THREE. Maybe your three-year-olds have more sense than mine does but he will:

A) Try to eat the whole thing - because it's his Cookie and he will not share - end up with a tummy ache, and start crying.

B) Have a flying fit because I broke off a small piece that he could eat now, saving the rest for another day, and start crying.

C) Spend the week asking what happened to the Cookie (I hid it), and telling me that Granny's going to be so sad because we *lost* the cookie (I ate it). He'll start crying, I'll commiserate. And later on I'll start crying because I have a tummy ache.

Any way you look at it, it ends in tears. And this is not the first time that they've done this.

And while it's highly unlikely that the Boy was going to actually get to eat that cookie (see above reasons), there is NO WAY the Little Guy was ever going to touch it. I have to assume that "the Little Guy's Cookie" was actually meant for my (um, OUR) consumption. Surely, surely, they don't think that he would be allowed to eat it...?

So now I have two cookies I have to eat. I could throw them out, but let's face it, I have no self-control. I wish I could convince Mr Earth's stepmother that books would be better objects of her shopping prowess.

I'd be a lot thinner.



17 comments:

Mamalooper said...

Could be worse - the icing could be black resulting in stained tongues/fingers/couches/carseats...

womaninawindow said...

I can't believe you measured both the cookies and the boy's heads. That was freaken hilarious!

Old people slip. And I don't mean on banana peels.

Mimi said...

OMG. measuring the cookies was funny. but when you actually measured those boys' heads, I laughed out loud. I did. HA!

Mad said...

OK. That was downright HI-larious.

Kyla said...

Hahahaha!! Those cookies are the size of a child's head!

Beck said...

THE SIZE OF THEIR HEADS!
That passes right by "awful" and goes all the way to AWESOME. You are SO LUCKY.

Tracey said...

Don't eat the baby's head! Er, cookie! Send it to me. I'll suffer the calories for you...

Tracey said...

Don't eat the baby's head! Er, cookie! Send it to me. I'll suffer the calories for you...

Mac and Cheese said...

Since it's going to end in tears no matter what, you may as well eat 'em. Screw the calories!

kittenpie said...

OMG those are CRAZY! Tell you what, I am burning extra calories over here, so howzabout you just send one my way, hmmm? Dibs on the acorn.

But I must tell you - I LOVE the new header. it's awesome. You made that, didn't you? I know it. Because now I am discovring you are ridiculously talented in all kinds of things. Almost not fair- if only you were not so lovely, I might not like you. But I do.

ewe are here said...

I am now grateful that my inlaws generally know to clear treats with me before offering them to my boys.

Because those are some obnoxiously too big cookies for small people!

b*babbler said...

Wow - that is seriously messed up. Yikes.

Thanking my heavens for my in-laws.

LOVE the new header. So pretty!

painted maypole said...

what's wrong with letting your infant eat a cookie the size of his head?

;)

The Coffee Lady said...

you could always have drilled holes in them, threaded some string through and called them masks

bren j. said...

That is hilarious! What's the calorie count on a cookie the size of a child's head anyway?

Could you punch a hole in them and hang them up as fall decorations? They are very nice looking cookies...

petite gourmand said...

too funny
my mom brought one of those giant gingerbread cookies for Lulu this weekend too.
I ended up eating most of it.

Christine said...

dude i wouldn't give them to my kids either but i WOULD eat them myself!