Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Home Alone: The Mr. earth Chronicles - Day 2.35

Chores Done: 2.6 (I've moved garbage closer to the door, in order to be put out this evening)
Chores Outstanding: 961,532,781,661.05
Days actually spent at work: 1

Ok, so I'm at work today.

Now, I'm sure that I've the first blogger (to be clear I'm more of a pinch-blogger, or blogger-sub) in history who has ever blogged at work... but, safe to say - I feel a little dirty.

I believe that we have touchdown in PEI. The fam has made it, and, more importantly, everyone is still alive!

Back to me! Now, as mentioned earlier, (well I don't know if I actually mentioned it, but I was thinking it) it's not easy being the spouse of the blogger. Certain demands are placed on us.. often I get the following questions / statements:

- What should I post about? (and then after I suggest something) No, something actually good!
- Hold on, I gotta read this one more post.
- Did you like my post?
- Why don't you comment on my post?
- I was going to (make dinner/pay bills/shower/play with children/build you a shrine) but I had to read this post.

Often, I suggest brilliant ideas for a post, so without further pause, here are my top 5 suggested (and subsequently rejected) post ideas.

5. Our Cat.
Ms. Earth thinks our cat is the devil. To be clear, she thinks that our cat is not just any devil but the devil. I think she's kinda sweet. Sound like an interesting post? Apparently not.

4. Reviews of Cast Recordings.
After suggesting this, Ms. Earth piped up with "No straight man should like show tunes as much as you do".

3. Being married to an actuary.
Ms. Earth - "I'm already bored"

2. What a fantastic lover I am.
Ms Earth - "Who?"

1. Our new toilet!
Ok, some background needed here...

If we're going to be talking about me (and that seems to be the point) then you need a little back ground information

- I have a university degree in Math and Theatre
- I take singing lessons (and have for the past 8 years or so)
- I have a grown-up job
- I AM NOT HANDY AT ALL. The fact that I have 2 hands is the closest I can claim to being handy. So... when our toilet died last week (crack in the porcelain) we had the following conversation

Ms. - "Our toilet has died"
Me - "Crap!" (pun intended - did I mention that I think I'm funny)
Ms. - "We need to buy a toilet and call a plumber"
Me - "No, I think I can do it"
Ms. - "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! No really, do you know any plumbers?"

So, I spend the next 8 hours watching as many youtube clips on how to replace a toilet and took my ego-bruised self to the Home Depot. There I bought a toilet and somehow managed to get it home (holy moly are they heavy).

Now the guy at the home depot said it should take about 45 mins to an hour. Well.... after 2 hours I had finished... and I have to say... (to quote DJ Lance Rock) it's AWESOME! Honestly, it's spectacular! Everything about it is better than the old one... it looks better, feels better, it's got 2 buttons (one for little pees, and one for poos) - and that's cool! It's a treat to use!

Now, honestly, wouldn't that have made for a fantastic post?

More later... I feel like a nap is coming on...


SciFi Dad said...

Two buttons on a toilet?!? Seriously?

Also: my wife would never let me near replacing a toilet... your wife is brave.

I'd write more of a comment, but I feel a nap coming on.

painted maypole said...

you installed a toilet AND you like show tunes? Too bad we're both already married.

womaninawindow said...

OK OK enough with the hooking up while your wife is out of the province.

I'm in for the cat post. My dead cat was a beatnik poet and my little nasty living cat is a sl.. and a republican. We could write a book on cats...oh, here we go with the hooking up again. When is Nomo back in town?

mamatulip said...

Mr. Earth is an actuary?

kittenpie said...

I won't be telling Misterpie about the toilet - he'd totally have fixture envy.

crazymumma said...

what on earth is an actuary?

Bon said...

they're in PEI? i'm in PEI! please tell Ms. Earth that if the boys would like a playdate with Oscar, i'm in the phone book. B Stewart, Summer Street. it's a very small island. :)

bren j. said...

Well I was going to make some wry remark about the abysmal number of chores you've accomplished but then I remembered that most of the ones I accomplish in a day are pithy and happen in the last 30 minutes before my husband gets home from work. Plus YOU INSTALLED A TOILET - so much for not being handy. I think it actually made me love him more after my husband installed a toilet. *sigh*

Kyla said...

You installed a toilet? That should count as 10 chores, at least. Since it seems to be a rather fancy toilet, I might even say 15.

motherbumper said...

Two buttons? When did toilets get all technological and stuff... and dude, you quoted DJ Lance Rock - you are such a dad (albeit a cool one).

I'm still absorbing the actuary information. Will come up with something witty after I press publish.

kgirl said...

I have no idea what an actuary is, but it sounds impressive. Also, good on ya with the toilet. NoMo may not kick your ass quite as hard after all.

Susanne said...

Ha, I looked up "actuary". Now I know. It doesn't sound that glamorous though.

A singing mathematician who is handy - sounds much better.