Thursday, August 28, 2008

Home Alone: The Mr. Earth Chronicles - Day 4.111

Chores Done: 2.7 (I was supposed to steam clean the carpets, but instead, I've called someone to come and clean them.. that's gotta count for something..)
Chores Outstanding: 961,532,781,660.95
Days actually spend at work doing work: 1

So Blogger-iffics,

I know you missed my musings yesterday, but I actually had to do some work at work! Really the nerve of it all! So, I apologize.

Nomo, the boys, and her parents are all doing well in PEI and are anxiously awaiting my arrival, to punish me for all the fun that I've been having.

Questions, we've had some questions in the comments... (oh, and thanks to all who have commented, and apologies to all who are reading this expecting the exquisite prose of Ms. Earth, and are left with me....)

1. What's the origin of motherbumper?
- Well this one is easy, obviously the blogger is a hit-man/woman/person for the mafia and specializes in "bumping-off" other members. (Note to self: be nice to motherbumper)

2. Am I an actuary?
- Yes! (I used to be very smart)

3. What is an actuary?
- Well according to the Canadian Institute of Actuaries (the CIA - yes, I'm a member of the CIA, so you'd better watch out...)

Actuaries are professional business people who are skilled in the application of mathematics to financial problems. Actuaries employ their specialized knowledge of the mathematics of finance, statistics and risk theory on problems faced by:
- insurance companies (both Life and Property/Casualty)
- pension plans
- government regulators
- social programs
- individuals
(but wait there's more)

Actuaries have practical business sense, the creativity to apply training and experience to new problems and provide innovative solutions, and the communication skills required to convince both colleagues and clients. They help people plan better for the future by controlling or reducing financial risks.

Wow, that's a mouthfull!

After reading that it's COMPLETELY OBVIOUS why I became an actuary.....

For the chicks, it drives them crazy with desire.

Moving on......

As I'm taking over my wife's blog, I thought that it would be fun for all her readers to get to know the real truth about her.. so, without pause it's time for...

Fun Facts about Nomo that she probably doesn't want me to tell everyone

Fact #1. She loves to run (and thinks she's faster than me!)
- She is the little runner girl (pa-rum-pa-tum-tum)

Fact #2. She loves all the blogger friends she's made.
- She really does, and thank you all for being such a welcome part to her/our lives.

Fact #3. She has an unhealthy obsession with sweets.
- Apparantly, "Dinner is not dinner without dessert! It would be similar to a person without feet"

Fact #4. She's a really talented actor.
- Oh my goodness, she's good! (Oh, and go see her show...)

Fact #5. She "gloms" on to the wrong part of the story.
- It's very difficuly to tell Ms. Earth a story, as she will "glom" on to a rather insignificant part of the story... you're going to need an example..

Mr. (start of a story) "So, I'm coming back from the 'Bucks and there's this girl on my elevator, and she's checking herself out in the mirror, so I say.."
Ms (interrupting): "You went to starbucks?"
Mr.: "Yeah, so I say to her"
Ms. "I thought that you always went to Timmies in the morning at work?"
Mr. "Yeah, I do but the coffee train left without me"
Ms. "Coffee train?"
Mr. "You know, when I round everyone up to get coffee, I tell them that the coffee train is leaving and we all go..
Ms. "That's kind of lame. But, if you're the conductor of the train, why did it leave without you?"
Mr. "The train waits for no man.. So.. I say to this girl.."
Ms. "Are you the conductor of the coffee train?"

And on it goes.... BTW, the elevator story was a good one. And she'll never know it.. sigh...

more later... I feel a nap coming on...


daysgoby said...

Will you keep guest-posting from the wilds of PEI? Or will there be a curtain of silence?

motherbumper said...

You nailed it sir, and now you name is off my list (for now).

I knew there was a reason I like Nomo so much, I'm totally a glommer of insignificant details. Oh yah, and your kids are super cool - just like mom.

Beck said...

I'm still not quite sure what an actuary is. Do you get to carry a gun? A taser?

I think I'm going to make my husband guest post soon. HAHAH. It'll be great.

painted maypole said...

loving learning about you and ms.

you are doing far too much napping. OK, you are doing just the right amount of napping, I am just nap jealous

crazymumma said...

well, we love her too. Actually I sort of hate her because she has a really fine figure for someone who just pumped out such a juicy baby and the fact that she has the sugar issue.....I had to stand in a candy store and WAIT for her while she got all obsessive about candy picking.

So that is what an actuary is/does. Frankly you sound multitalented. Can you come and teach me how to run my life?

bren j. said...

Your recounting of the story is great. Recounting. I guess that's what probably helps make you a great actuary, right?

I asked my husband last night what 'man-tidy' means and he said, "Man-tidy? Usually that means messy. Unless he's an unusual fellow which means thing are probably very organized."

So which one are you?

Kyla said...

Naps again. I want to be an actuary if there is this much napping involved!

You could tell us the elevator story, and we can't even interrupt you. Such is the beauty of blogging.

kittenpie said...

You know, I still feel like I don't know what an actuary DOES, only what qualities s/he possesses. Which is great for someone looking into becoming an actuary, but I have a job. So what do you DO , actuary?

And we love NoMo, too. Especially when she leaves her sweets in our hotel room.

Mad said...

Couldn't you have just been a caboose or maybe a "little engine that could"?

kgirl said...

ohmygod, you are really funny. And I love your wife even more now.

womaninawindow said...

OK, you tuck your feet up on the couch and count...well...numbers. Or do you count money? I'm pretty sure an actuary would not count sheep. Too messy. But maybe if you were contracting for a farmer? No, no, that would still be money. hum. Have a very successful and safe nap!